hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
