I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
