I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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