I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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