It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize