we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
pray to the hookup gods
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
