i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
