I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
