I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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