I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
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Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
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I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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