Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
