How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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