I want to make a zoo with you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
