I got chris browned last night
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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