you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
