omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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