At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
