Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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