There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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