I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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