woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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