yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she woke up with a sticky ear
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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