if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize