I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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