I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
