Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
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were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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