so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Only a mothe r could love this liver
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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