You smell like a Billy Joel song
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
