your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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