Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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