Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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