At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Duck Duck Cougar?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
