I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
