she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She announced her abortion via fbk
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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