We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
