i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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