Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
