i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
