Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
