he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize