Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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