I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
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