i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
