I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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