our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
