OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
