If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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