From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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