Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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