Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
that's an acceptable place to lick
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
