I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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