Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
