Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
