I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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