youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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