i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
