He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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