I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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