garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
