Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Randomize