He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
as a side note pls kill me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
