Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize