You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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